It is the night of confession and today I won’t mind speaking my mind aloud to you. Neither shall I speak for your pleasure not for your satisfaction. Sweetheart, since from the beginning of this relationship I was too cautious to offend you in anyway and probably it would be shocking for you to hear such words of disgrace from me, but my love, you have broken me to this point that I refuse to take it anymore.
It’s been three years since we met, three years of togetherness or companionship or whatever you prefer to name it. I never knew that you existed in my class until one fine day you just appeared out of your self-exile mode and asked me for my notes, just a day before the exams! You promised me to return them back to me in two hours which you never did. I guess you were already in the habit of breaking promises! I had to wake up whole night and prepare fresh notes to save myself from the failure in the exams. You had always been like this, irresponsible and self-centred. I despised you for a very long time after that incidence and would have been continued to do so had you not made me believe that you were madly in love with me.
I was naive and stupid.
You stalked me for the whole one year. You wrote numerous love letters to me, your friends and other classmates would come every now and then to tell me how madly you were in love with me. Nothing was enough to move me until you slit your wrist one day. I could not sleep that night, from the combine feeling of being loathed by others and the guilt for being the reason behind your mental trauma (apparently!). I surrendered.
At times, I would pinch myself just to know that I was not dreaming otherwise how and why a good looking and rich boy will fall for such an average looking middle class girl?I thought, like you said, my simplicity and caring nature made you fall in love with me. You said you have all the comforts in the world but you crave for love and care that your busy parents couldn’t provide to you. Since then I made sure that your life is filled with love and care. I loved you more than my life and cared for you like I did for no one. I ignored your arrogance, ego and insensitivity for the sake of love. Moreover, I ignored myself, for a very long time indeed.
But now I want to take charge of my life again.
Hardly had I known that you were on a mission, mission of acquiring what your influential status could not bring to you. Once you were sure that I would not leave you, you started taking me for granted. Your attention towards me gradually decreased to zero; suddenly I was out of your zone. I would miss you on my special days, would crave for a wish from you but you were always busy with your other friends all the time. My grades at college dropped drastically. You had been emotionally unavailable to me every time I needed you. Every time I look upon you for support you would turn your face the other side. You would make fun of me in public and would encourage others to do the same. My heart would bleed to death every time you did that to me. When I tried talking to you regarding this you would tell me to stop throwing tantrums and that I should not make a fuss over such trivial issues. Only you would not understand that my world revolved around you and without you I was all alone. I was nearly in the verge of having a nervous breakdown but you would not care. Actually you never had. It was a game, you won and I lost, I being a Mission over and long forgotten.
It was really hard to acknowledge this bitter truth but since I have got myself acquainted with the reality, I call it off. I admit it was a blunder, my very first and probably the last love experience.
Thank you for nothing.
Good Bye Forever.
30 thoughts on “Letter from an unfinished story..”
It’s awesome but love sucks
It does.. 😦
Bahut Khub Hemaji.
Thank you.. 🙂
Oh my God!! It’s a nice post.. But Di.. It’s haunting… Somewhere.. 🙂
Keep on writing dear.. 🙂
Thank you Nimzy and yes its not a pleasant one but then pleasure and pain go side by side.
-Pain is as four-lettered a word as love…..
Oh…. Am sorry to read this…
God bless you.. Keep writing 🙂
Don’t be,it’s just a fiction..:)
Thank god …it is..
Though the particulars showed something contrary and thus I really lived this story while reading it and hence for emotionally attached to it…
Thank you for sharing …
Thank you for reading and yes it might be true for many of us..sad enough!
Felt every word of this…
It’s a fiction but it’s a truth at the same time, love sometimes becomes a mirage precisely in this way…very nicely done, Hema… 🙂
Thanks Maniparna, It is really nice that my lovely friends like you all read and never forget to comment,I really appreciate that andI am sorry that I don’t do the same but will try to leave my comments on your write up as well.
It’s okay, Hema…no issues. Don’t think it’s mandatory to leave comments as you read, take your time and do it only when time permits…. I can understand the constraints of time as none of us probably is a full-time blogger… 🙂
That’s so sweet of you. 🙂
The contents are disturbing…and that is where you have aced it- to really make us feel the pain. I am blown away with the fluidity of your language Hemz. You are actually reaching that level of perfection which is a matter of envy!
Fludity of language? Perfection? You must be kidding! 🙂
Welcome.. Would be happy to see you on my blog😀
That’s perfect 🙂
Wow Hema ji. . Kya mast likha hai. Lot of feelings in this. Love is painful when there is no love in between the couple. Taking things for granted becomes one of the reasons for such situations. I am happy to know that it’s a fiction. Have a beautiful time. 🙂
Hi,Sorry for replying late. Thanks for reading and leaving your valuable comment.